Logan's First Birthday

today it's been a year since I last held my baby boy. It's been the hardest year I've ever lived. there were days that I thought I may actually explode from the grief I was experiencing. for months I thought I'd never be myself again. I was right. I'm different and it's for the better. God has been faithful to his promise to love and comfort me through my pain. He has started a great work in me that I hope never stops. I have been dreading this day because I thought I may slip back into that hole and not be able to get back out. however, to my surprise, today has been a great day. the calls, texts, and sweet gifts that have been given to me have been such a huge blessing! even more than those, the prayers that have been and will continue to be prayed over our family are absolutely overwhelming. thank you, sweet friends and family, for covering us in prayer today 💗 God honored your prayers and has comforted and energized me in a way I'm not sure I've ever felt before. i am still so sad that I'm not putting one candle on a cake for my sweet Logan to blow out, but I have so much hope for the future and a peace that can only come from the Lord. I am so thankful that God chose to use Logan to touch so many lives and I cannot wait to hug that little boy one day ☺️💙

“For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18

baby 2

there is something about this reminder in my favorite place on earth that makes my heart so full, yet so painfully aware of the absence of my babies. six years ago, I stood in a church watching a sweet friend say I do and start her new life, while I was silently mourning the life I knew I was losing inside me. this baby is the only one I never got to see, yet I loved it fiercely and had already dreamed what our life would be like together. this never gets easier, we just get closer to meeting you every year that passes. happy birthday to you, baby tisdale two 💙💙💙💙💙💙

JT B-day 2015

If you had asked me at the end of my 15th year, what life would be like at the end of my 30th year, I would have given you an answer that would have paled in comparison to what reality has been. I have loved more, laughed more, cried more and hurt more than I ever could have thought was possible. It has taught me that I always underestimate how high the peaks God has in store for me are, and how low the valleys can get that he would guide me through. I have been given a great gift in loving family and friends. The most amazing wife in Kristi Tisdale , and the greatest pleasure in my beautiful daughter Madison. This year also saw us gain, and in the same moment lose, our son Logan, and for that hour, I am eternally grateful. He reminds me every day that what we have here in front of us is momentary, and that our greatest joy is yet in the life to come. I pray that this next year God continues to open my eyes so that I could see how He is working for our greatest eternal goo...

Jacob's First Birthday

it has been 3 1/2 years since I was given this promise: “Look, I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will bring you back to this land, for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭28:15‬ ‭ I have clung to it desperately since then as in that time, three more babies have opened their eyes to the face of Jesus instead of me. seeing that reality in black and white takes my breath away. I have experienced more loss and grief in my lifetime than my worst nightmare could dream up yet, mangled with that, the most incredible joy and hope in the Lord. I 100% believed everything would be ok with jacob, even though the odds were stacked against us. I know my God was able to make that reality true. and yet, it has been a year since I last held him and kissed his face. here is what I’ve learned through all of this: the Lord’s plans are not mine. what I want is usually selfish and trivial in light of e...

Josh and Kristi

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