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About Us

Thank you for visiting our site!

It's taken us several years to finally come to a place where we felt we could share our story in this form.

If you know us, then you know we have been willing to talk about our babies any chance we can, but to write it down can be a different experience. It isn’t in the moment, it isn’t with others, it’s time alone with our memories.

For me (Josh), it felt like every time I was ready to write something down, we would get pregnant again, or go through another loss, putting a stop to my desire to relive our experiences in writing.

It is our desire that through this site, we can share our struggles and the hope that has sustained us. Not because we are strong, or know the right things to say or do, but because in our brokenness God has given us a desire to see His name lifted up.

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baby 2

there is something about this reminder in my favorite place on earth that makes my heart so full, yet so painfully aware of the absence of my babies. six years ago, I stood in a church watching a sweet friend say I do and start her new life, while I was silently mourning the life I knew I was losing inside me. this baby is the only one I never got to see, yet I loved it fiercely and had already dreamed what our life would be like together. this never gets easier, we just get closer to meeting you every year that passes. happy birthday to you, baby tisdale two 💙💙💙💙💙💙
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JT B-day 2015

If you had asked me at the end of my 15th year, what life would be like at the end of my 30th year, I would have given you an answer that would have paled in comparison to what reality has been. I have loved more, laughed more, cried more and hurt more than I ever could have thought was possible. It has taught me that I always underestimate how high the peaks God has in store for me are, and how low the valleys can get that he would guide me through. I have been given a great gift in loving family and friends. The most amazing wife in  Kristi Tisdale , and the greatest pleasure in my beautiful daughter Madison. This year also saw us gain, and in the same moment lose, our son Logan, and for that hour, I am eternally grateful. He reminds me every day that what we have here in front of us is momentary, and that our greatest joy is yet in the life to come. I pray that this next year God continues to open my eyes so that I could see how He is working for our greatest eternal goo...
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Jacob's First Birthday

it has been 3 1/2 years since I was given this promise: “Look, I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will bring you back to this land, for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭28:15‬ ‭  I have clung to it desperately since then as in that time, three more babies have opened their eyes to the face of Jesus instead of me. seeing that reality in black and white takes my breath away. I have experienced more loss and grief in my lifetime than my worst nightmare could dream up yet, mangled with that, the most incredible joy and hope in the Lord. I 100% believed everything would be ok with jacob, even though the odds were stacked against us. I know my God was able to make that reality true. and yet, it has been a year since I last held him and kissed his face.  here is what I’ve learned through all of this: the Lord’s plans are not mine. what I want is usually selfish and trivial in light of e...
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