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Jacob's First Birthday




it has been 3 1/2 years since I was given this promise:

“Look, I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will bring you back to this land, for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭28:15‬ ‭

 I have clung to it desperately since then as in that time, three more babies have opened their eyes to the face of Jesus instead of me. seeing that reality in black and white takes my breath away. I have experienced more loss and grief in my lifetime than my worst nightmare could dream up yet, mangled with that, the most incredible joy and hope in the Lord. I 100% believed everything would be ok with jacob, even though the odds were stacked against us. I know my God was able to make that reality true. and yet, it has been a year since I last held him and kissed his face. 

here is what I’ve learned through all of this: the Lord’s plans are not mine. what I want is usually selfish and trivial in light of eternity. he is too good to give me what I want, when he has something much better in store for me. I so wish my boys were here, but I have eternity to spend with them and incredible hope that other people will meet them there because of the impact they have made on this world.

  happy first birthday in heaven, sweet jacob. this morning we sang happy birthday to you and your sister blew out your candle. we had cake for breakfast and it was perfect 💙

'“And the King says, "Look! God and his children are together again. No more running away. Or hiding. No more crying or being lonely or afraid. No more being sick or dying. Because all those things are gone. Yes, they are gone forever. Everything sad has come untrue. And see- I have wiped away every tear from every eye!' And then a deep, beautiful voice that sounded like thunder in the sky says, 'Look, I am making everything new!'"

-Revelation 21:3-5, The Jesus Storybook Bible 

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